IT'S that time of the year again, when sports reporters are harangued by their editors to come up with interesting blogs about the end of yet another mind-numbing English Premier League season.
I'm kidding, of course. I love my English football, and blogs are a great way to let off some steam, or in this case, feed a journalist's obsession with lists.
On that note, whip out your hankies, and say goodbye 11 players (and one manager) I think will take their final bow for their respective clubs come Sunday.
Here's how they would line up:
Owen Santa Cruz
Tevez
Downing Barry Bentley
Cole Hyppia Laursen Johnson
Itandje
Manager: Guus Hiddink
Goalkeeper
Charles Itandje (Liverpool) - Liverpool's 48th choice keeper made the headlines for the first time in his career when he decided that the Hillsborough memorial service was a good time to showcase his dance routine. Likely to be shipped off faster than you can pronounce his name when the transfer window opens.
Defenders
Ashley Cole (Chelsea) - Loyalty, as we all know, is a foreign language to the former Arsenal left-back. And with Barcelona calling, expect Cole to take up Spanish lessons soon.
Sami Hyypia (Liverpool) - One of the Reds' greatest modern day imports, the big Finn departs Anfield after 10 years for Bayer Leverkusen.
Martin Laursen (Aston Villa) - Another outstanding centreback with years of long service. But unlike Hyypia, Laursen has had enough of watching Man United win everything and is headed straight for retirement.
Glen Johnson (Portsmouth) - Made the news when he stole a toilet seat from a warehouse two years ago. Liverpool will try to flush him out this summer with a big money deal.
Midfielders
Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough) - Realised in January that Boro was rubbish and asked for a transfer, unsuccessfully. Now that the team is headed for the can, Spurs and Liverpool are amongst his suitors.
Gareth Barry (Aston Villa) - Will he or won't he? The central midfielder could finally get out of Martin O'Neill's hair in the summer, but only if Liverpool sort out Xabi Alonso first.
David Bentley (Tottenham) - Mr Goal of the Season was unwanted at Arsenal, and is now unwanted at Spurs. Last seen at a train station in North London train, taking the first shuttle out to Manchester.
Forwards
Carlos Tevez (Manchester United) - All he needs is love, and Sir Alex isn't giving any. Will join anyone who's willing to give him a hug. And a 30 million pound transfer fee.
Roque Santa Cruz (Blackburn) - Voted the sexiest footballer at the 2006 World Cup, though it is unclear if this will boost his price tag in the summer, when a bidding war is likely to start for his services.
Michael Owen (Newcastle) - The Premier League's poor little rich boy is looking for a new home, preferably a non-relegated one. Any takers?
Manager
Guus Hiddink (Chelsea) - Never has a temporary manager been more well-loved. He goes back to Russia in June, with Stamford Bridge in tears and Avram Grant writhing in jealousy.
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